Monday, February 10, 2014

Story

A woman is running away from three men. She runs into an alley that comes to a tall chain link fence. It is a dead end. Two of the men grab her arms, while one slowly approaches with a knife.

Then something drops down from above right behind him. He turns around and they all look at what is slowly standing up. We see Xibalba standing tall as to confront the men. The leader tries to quickly stab him, but Xibalba catches him by the wrist, snaps his arm, takes the knife, and lodges it into his skull. The other two look incredibly nervous, but before they have a chance to either fight or run away, Xibalba takes out his pistols and shoots each one of them in the head.

The woman, scared and confused, sits against the wall and stares up at Xibalba. He looks down at her  and reaches out his hand to help her up. She puts her hand on his cheek.

For a moment it seems all is well.

Then we see something appear behind Xibalba. We see Seite (a zombie-like demigod who can regenerate dead material, cannibalize corpses, and wears the mask Antonio wore the night he was murdered) looming at the end of the ally way. Holding his trademark nailbat. Xibalba immediately starts shooting at Seite, but the creature still stands after being shot multiple times. The creature merely ignores the bullets and starts running towards Xibalba. Xibalba throws the guns aside and takes out his machete and quickly dodges the first swing of the nail bat. He then takes a swing at Seite with the machete, but Seite blocks it with the bat and knocks the machete out of Xibalba's hand. He continues to swing his bat at Xibalba who tries not to get hit. Xibalba lands in a few punches and kicks, but they do nothing to Seite. Seite finally delivers a devastating blow to Xibalba's face and breaks off his hat goes flying off. Seite then strikes his face again, and Xibalba's mask breaks off. Xibalba falls back with his face revealed, half covered in blood.

Seite stands over Xibalba, raises the bat over his head to bring down the final blow, and then suddenly his arm is chopped off. We see the woman holding the machete behind him. Seite then turns to her. He lunges at her and she stabs him through the chest. He then grabs her by the neck, raises her up, and throws her against the wall. He pulls out the machete from his chest and marches towards her. He winds back the machete to attack her, and then suddenly his head has the nailbat bashed into his skull. We see Xibalba behind him holding the bat. He lets it go and grabs Seite by the arm holding the machete, and he rips it off. Seite falls to his knees. Xibalba then chops off his head, and his body falls over.

Xibalba turns to the woman and walks over to her. He discovers that she is dead. He picks her up, looks up to the skies, and walks out of the scene.

As he walks away from Seite's mutilated head, Seite's eyes look straight at the audience.



Story #2:

A woman is running away from three men. She runs into an alley that comes to a tall chain link fence. It is a dead end. Two of the men grab her arms, while one slowly approaches with a knife.

Then something drops down from above right behind him. He turns around and they all look at what is slowly standing up. We see Xibalba standing tall as to confront the men. The leader tries to quickly stab him, but Xibalba catches him by the wrist, snaps his arm, takes the knife, and lodges it into his skull. Thug number 2 grabs a bat and charges at Xibalba. He takes a swing to Xibalba's face, his hat and mask go flying off. He slowly turns back into position with a drop of blood running down his forehead and a stern look in his eyes. He pulls out his machete. Thug number 2 then tries to swing at him again, but Xibalba catches it and stabs thug number 2 through his chest. He then retracts the machete and slices off the head of thug number 3.

The woman, scared and confused, sits against the wall and stares up at Xibalba. He looks down at her and reaches out his hand to help her up. She puts her hand on his cheek.

As she looks over his shoulder, she sees thug number 2 aiming a gun towards Xibalba's back. She pushes him out of the way and gets shot. Xibalba then kicks the gun out of the thug's hand and takes his machete to split his head in half.

Xibalba turns to the woman and walks over to her. He discovers that she is dead. He picks her up, looks up to the skies, and walks out of the scene.

2 comments:

  1. Intense. I am concerned that you may not have time for all of the events you describe. Seite is hard to understand. Why is he there and what are his motivations? The initial fight is much more interesting and easier to understand. I think if you were to develop a story which has more tension built around the introductory event, the idea might prove more successful.

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  2. Seite was introduced here to give the hero a real threat. Something supernatural that can't be killed, and at the same time is a mockery of the hero.

    For the sake of trying to make the story more successful, I will make another story where the men have more of a fighting chance to kill the hero.

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